It is unfortunately a sad reflection of the society in which we live that assaults against the person are becoming more and more frequent. These assaults can take many forms from street violence to road rage and in some cases can result in serious injury and even death. Workplace assaults are growing more common across the world in hospitals, schools, on public transport and in shops. Dealing with aggression is never comfortable and staff need to have the confidence to handle these difficult situations and the techniques to diffuse them and even to know when to back off. This book will provide valuable guidance to anyone working within the public arena that needs to know how to successfully handle confrontation.
In this guide:
How to use de escalation techniques including stance and body language
How to read and interpret the body language signals that lead to aggression
How to handle irate customers.
• awareness of potential behaviour patterns that may
lead to aggressiveness
• avoidance of situations where the potential for aggressive
behaviour exists
• interpretation of non-verbal communications signals
• control and de-escalation techniques
• an outline of techniques for your personal safety
and security.
Body language...
Body language is the outward and visible display of our feelings and emotions when we communicate and is often carried out unconsciously or subconsciously.
For example, we may be trapped in a conversation with a person with whom we really do not have any liking. Common courtesy and politeness demands that we at least give the impression of listening to what they have to say but what we are really thinking is how we can justifiably escape from this person and get away from the whole situation. We may try not to offend the other person by simply walking away and ignoring what they have to say but our body language can give our true feelings away if they are correctly interpreted by the speaker.
For example, we may start fidgeting and moving around, crossing and uncrossing our legs and arms; we may not look at the person directly and let our eyes stray to other areas beyond the immediate vicinity of the speaker; we may constantly look at our watch to check the time. These signs of inattention can be communicated to the speaker who may or may not recognise them.
If we are truly interested in what a person has to say we will sit attentively, facing the person and looking at them directly. We may lean towards them so that we are relatively closer to them, thus conveying the message that we are really interested in what they are saying.
As with the use of the tone of voice, body language can be interpreted as being opposed to what is actually being said by the use of words when communicating. It can, therefore, be recognised that all three aspects of personal communication – the words spoken, the tone of voice in which those words are spoken and the accompanying body language all play a part in relaying the true meaning of what is being communicated.
If any one of these elements is in conflict with the other two elements, then the true meaning of the communication is received as being confused and thereby lost.
Table of Contents
About the author ix
Introduction 1
Self defence for the new millennium 1
How to use this guide 2
What this guide covers 3
What you will learn from this guide 3
1 Victim or victor? 5
In the workplace 6
Something to think about 8
The victim identity 9
In summary 14
2 The chemistry of fear 15
‘Fight or flee’ reflex 16
In summary 24
3 Fear management 25
Self-confidence 28
Some points on the law 29
In summary 31
4 Approaches to confrontation management 33
Undertaking a risk assessment 33
Tactical communications 35
Goals 35
Personal space or proxemics 35
Components of communication 37
Manner and tone of voice 38
Body language 39
Information reception 40
Listening skills 42
Practicalities 43
Five communication skills (LEAPS) 43
In summary 45
5 Handling the difficult or irate customer 47
5 Step Positive Cycle 47
Example 48
Positioning 53
The environment – seating 54
In summary 58
6 What if it doesn’t work? Dealing with 59
possible threat
The law and personal safety 59
Reasonable force 60
Recognition signs 62
In summary 63
7 Conflict resolution 65
Profiled offender behaviour 66
The warning signs of attack 66
Reasonable defender response 69
Deadly force 71
In summary 72
8 Impact factors 73
Sex/age/size/strength 73
Skill levels 74
Exhaustion 75
Injury 76
Numbers 77
Special knowledge 77
Drugs and alcohol 77
Mental impairment 78
Weapons 79
Imminent danger 80
Position of disadvantage 81
Willingness to resist 82
In summary 83
9 Options 85
Create space between defender and aggressor 85
Issue verbal commands 86
Stance: move to establish control 86
Warning signals 87
Prolonged eye contact 88
Facial colour changes 88
Standing tall with head back 88
Large extravagant movements 89
Ground kicking 89
Accelerated breathing rate 89
Contradiction of stated intent 90
In summary 91
10 Danger signs – possible assault imminent 93
Fist clenching 94
Facial colour pales 94
Lips tighten over teeth 94
Eyebrows drop and chin drops 95
Hands above waist 95
Shoulders tense 95
Stance 95
Target acquisition glance 96
In summary 97
11 Practicalities 99
LOOK 100
In summary 102
12 What next? 105
And finally 108
Appendix 111
Useful web sites 111
Further reading 112
Other Step by Step Guides 113
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Easy Step By Step Guide to Handling Confrontation
by Gerry Williams